Passion-not

I am grateful for the advice at 1:06-2:09 of this video. Actually, the whole video is worth watching, and so are nearly all of the videos on CGPGrey's YouTube channel, but this particular segment deals with the concept of "following your passion," which I've always had a little trouble with.

Having an interest in the arts and creative pursuits tricked me into believing I have a passion. The deception began at a young age. I enjoyed playing piano and drawing and composing and listening to music, and most role models in those areas are (or are portrayed as) passionate people. When arts professionals talk (particularly to children) about their work, they speak of their passion. I related and aspired to that passion without realizing that's not the way my mind works.

Even into young adulthood I convinced myself I was passionate about my chosen field of study, which eventually became music composition. The truth is composition is something I did because I enjoyed it, but I wasn't driven to create. I didn't, and don't, have a fire burning inside me.

The search for a "career" that has lasted most of my adult life pointed in the direction of some amorphous "dream job." In the absence of something true taking up the "dream job" space in my brain, I conjured credible dreams of being a successful author, composer, performer, etc. I thought it would be neat to be these things, but I had no fuel to get myself to any of those places, nor even enough to start, nor did I have regret or remorse over not having tried. I realize those are pie-in-the-sky dream jobs. Practical people have attainable dream jobs, like owning their own business, or becoming a successful doctor or lawyer or other professional goal that requires slightly less luck to achieve. None of those types of goals called to me either.

I'm pleased to announce that, after a long journey, I'm satisfied in my work life and the path before me. I'm a copy editor at a marketing agency; I enjoy what I do and I get a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment from a job well done. I'm also happy to have come to the conclusion that passion is not for everyone. The epiphany came before I saw the video linked above, but am gratified to hear it come from a successful, intelligent person, whom I might have assumed to be passionate, but maybe not. Maybe he just found something he likes doing, and is able to devote time and energy to it without the vague motivation of passion to drive him.