Ways in which first dates are like job interviews

• You try six or nine different outfits before choosing something you don't realize has a stain on it
• You don't want to go, at all
• You spend the the preceding minutes pondering your greatest weakness
• You are overdressed
• You have to explain any gaps in your résumé
• If you happen to be both single and unemployed, you treat any date or job interview as if it could be either
• A bird lands on a tree branch just outside the window and you consider a simpler existence
• You spill coffee on yourself
• You have sex at the end
• You send a thank you message the day after, expressing a hope that you'll see each other again
• You never hear from them again, and you console yourself with stories of how they weren't right for you anyway
• Your mom says the right one will come along, and maybe you should have worn the shirt she got you. Your dad offers to call them for you.